You only need to complete this assignment on Canvas if you are a virtual student/ if you are quarantining. If you are face to face, complete this assignment on paper in class!
1. Read the student’s essay FULLY as if you are the teacher.
2. Label the following paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You may circle, underline or highlight using the annotation tools.
3. Identify/ label their hook, main idea, and the evidence they cited from the text that supports the main idea. You may circle, underline or highlight.
4. Correct any spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors.
5. Cross out any part of the essay that is repetitive or off topic.
Sample Student’s Essay- (M.T.)
“Have you ever found courage even though you were scared to do something?
Well let’s look at two amazing people who did just that. Kenny from” the Watsons go to
Birmingham” is a regular 4th grader who gets picked on by older kids and his older
brother Byron. Harry is a not so normal boy who wants to go back to hogwarts since he
had more fun there then at his house. Kenny demonstrated courage in the face of fear
by finally stop going to the “Worlds famous Watson Pet hospital. Harry Potter also
demonstrated courage in the face of fear by trying to use a spell on someone who was
in the bushes spying on him.
Kenny shows courage in the face of fear when he isn’t afraid to go into water
even though he knows it’s dangerous. Another time he shows courage in the face of
fear is when he keeps his head in the whirlpool and during the “I meet Winnie’s Evil
Twin Brother, The Wool Pooh”. Kenny went towards the church fire to see if his sister
was okay. When Kenny was bobbing, he reached for God’s hand. Finally Kenny didn’t
cry when Larry Dunn was beating him up.
“At times mostly when Harry feels abandoned by those around him, he becomes
quite paralyzed and seemingly unable to act. But when he remembers the loyalty of
those friends, and when he shows them loyalty himself, he rediscovers his bravery.
Another time harry shows courage in the face of fear When he sat on the garden bench
he was staring at the hedge and when the hedge stared back at him he decided to be
courageous and decide the best spell to set it on fire. When he was trying to open the
cupboard with his wand and broomstick to use magic even though he’s not supposed to
use it outside of school. On numerous occasions Harry wanted to open Hedwig’s cage
so he could send a letter to his friends. “In Harry’s last term he came face to face with
voldemort and he escaped barely”. When Hedwig’s cage opened for the third time Harry
tried to stand up for her and say that “she is bored.
The differences and similarities of the ways Kenny and Harry demonstrate
courage in the face of fear is when Kenny was getting beat up by Larry Dunn and Harry
when he barely escaped from voldemort. Kenny went into the water even though he
knew it was dangerous but Harry didn’t demonstrate courage in the face of fear that
way. When Kenny went towards the burning church to find Joey it was like when Harry
was trying to stand up for Hedwig when she escaped from her cage. When Kenny was
bobbing and reaching for God’s hand it showed courage in the face of fear but I dont
think Harry has reached for God’s hand in “Harry and the Chamber of Secrets. When
Harry sees someone in the hedge he tries to use magic , Kenny never demonstrates
courage in the face of fear that way though.
Both passages demonstrate courage in the face of fear. They both talk about
different subjects and different scenarios. Kenny demonstrates courage in the face of
fear by rushing to the church fire to make sure that his sister Joey was alive. Harry
demonstrates courage in the face of the fear when he sat on the garden bench he saw
a couple of eyes in the hedge and was gonna use a spell on it. In conclusion Harry and
Kenny both show courage in the face of fear.”
