Think about two friendships that you have. Describe yourfriendship in terms of three of the five types of friendships discussed in the power point and give examples for illustration. Friendships are usuallya combination of the types discussed in textbook. An example would be a friendshipwith high-obligation is usually also high in self-disclosure.
CHAPTER 10
Communication in Close Relationships
Section 1
Interplay
COMMUNICATION
IN FRIENDSHIPS
Communication in Friendships
A voluntary relationship that provides social
support
Friendships created, managed and maintained
through communication
Types of Friendships
Short vs. long-term
Task vs. maintenance-oriented
Low vs. high disclosure
Low vs. high obligation
Infrequent vs. frequent contact
Friendships, Gender, and Communication
Same-sex friendships
Usually first friends
Communication differs for men
and women
Cross-sex friendships
Offers many benefits
For heterosexuals present challenges with
potential for romance
Friendships, Gender, and Communication
Friends with benefits
Includes sexual activity
Men and women equally likely to be in FWB relationships
FWB partners avoid discussing relational status
Gender considerations
Sex role
Sexual orientation
Friendship and Social Media
Social networking used to maintain current friendships or revive old ones
Only small percentage of online friends are close
Also use phoning, texting, emailing, blogging to maintain friendships
Communication in Successful Friendships
Share joys and sorrows
Honor pledges and commitments
Share laughs and memories
Treat each other with respect
Provide a listening ear
Have a balanced exchange
Maintain confidences
Value both connection and autonomy
Lend a helping hand
Apologize and forgive
Stand up for each other
Section 2
Interplay
COMMUNICATION
IN THE FAMILY
Communication in the Family
Family: system with two or more
interdependent people who have a common
history and a present reality
and who expect to influence each
other in the future
Creating the Family Through Communication
Family narratives
Reinforce shared goals
Teach moral values
Stress family concerns
Reflect how members relate to
one another
Reflect how to operate in the world
Communication Rituals and Rules
Family rituals center on celebrations or everyday life
Families and stepfamilies have many rules governing communication
among members and with outsiders
Stepchildren avoid more topics with stepparents than parents
Patterns of Family Communication
Families as communication systems
Family members are interdependent
A family is more than the sum of its
parts
Families have systems within the
larger system
Conversation and Conformity in the Family
Conversation orientation
Degree to which families favor an open climate of discussion of a wide
array of topics
High: interact freely, frequently, and spontaneously
Low: interact less; less exchange of private thoughts
Conformity orientation
Degree to which family communication stresses uniformity of attitudes, values, and
beliefs
High: seek harmony, interdependence, obedience
Low: individuality, interdependence, equality
Conversation and Conformity in the Family
Consensual
High conversation/High conformity
Pluralistic
High conversation/Low conformity
Protective
Low conversation/High conformity
Laissez-faire
Low conversation/Low conformity orientation
Effective Communication in Families
Manage the connection-autonomy dialectic
Apparent when children grow into adolescents
Most successful families are flexible
After children are “launched,” couples have to re-negotiate their
“couple-ness”
Strive for Closeness While Respecting Boundaries
Enmeshed: too much cohesion; too much consensus, too little independence
Disengaged: too little cohesion; disconnected, limited attachment/ commitment
Creating boundaries: Physical, Conversational, Emotions, Handling of topics
Social networking provides challenges for privacy management
Use, but Don’t Abuse, Technology and Social Media
Changing technologies affect family communication
Social networking sites provide new challenges for family privacy management
As teens transition into adulthood, they become less concerned about
social media
Encourage Confirming Messages
Confirming behaviors
Telling children they are unique and valuable as human beings
Genuinely listening to children when told something of importance
Disconfirming behaviors
Belittling children
Making statements that communicate their ideas don’t count
Section 3
Interplay
COMMUNICATION
IN ROMANTIC
RELATIONSHIPS
Characteristics of Romantic Relationships
Triangular theory of love (Sternberg)
Intimacy: closeness and connectedness
Passion: physical attraction and emotional arousal
Commitment: decision to maintain relationship
Commitment
Relational commitment involves a promise to remain in a relationship and make that
relationship successful
Formed and reinforced through communication
Behaviors are important, but without language, commitment may not be clear
Affection
Beneficial for partners
Can have discrepancies between feelings and expressions of affection
Sexual activity important means of expressing and receiving affection
Most satisfying when accompanied by direct verbal communication
Effective Communication in Romantic Relationships
Learning love languages
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch
Which category is most important to you?
Managing Digital Communication
Social media impacts relationship
Can be a distraction but…
Communication via mediated channels help maintain relationships
Couples’ use of social networking reflects and affects how they feel about each other