Traditional Ways of Meranao Courtship

TRADITIONAL WAYS OF MERANAO COURTSHIP Introduction: Matrimony in Meranao fraternity is not upsuitable a single wild one-to-one interconnection betwixt boy and spinster; rather, it is a diffuse by refractory ties of two families striveing to demonstrate socioeconomic and political akin relapse one another. I. Wooing A. Selecting a compeer B. Wooing earlier to matrimony C. Manifesting the eager for matrimony D. Deliberation of the tender E. The underneathtaking bound F. Grafting to siege hues and duties INTRODUCTION Matrimony in Meranao fraternity is not upsuitable a single wild one-to-one interconnection betwixt boy and spinster; rather, it is a diffuse by affiant ties of two families striveing to demonstrate socioeconomic and political akin relapse one another. Transmitted matrimony has for-this-reason regularly been scant through parents, although the completeance is reluctantly improving qualified to fit to the occasions. It is, for-this-reason, lucid why the bill of the salsila genealogical availings, occupies a momentous niche in the Meranao belief. In equablet, in consequently matrimony, what the pananalsila 'salsila expert' says or reveals environing the ancestry of the severies wakeful can behove severe in the firmness to avail relapse the matrimony or not. It is sfrequently of one's assembly sense or loftiness (maratabat) to see the singular's matrimony demonstratees solid nobility akin. The con-over accomplish singly convergence to the transmitted ways of wooing and matrimony of Maranao and on how wooing and matrimony fall. The extrinsic of this con-over was to recognize over environing the transmitted ways of wooing and matrimony of Maranao man and woman consequently the occasion is now escalating the western influences and it causes forgetfulness of Maranao cultivation. The con-over was made feasible to the internet websites, books, magazines, and information. I. Wooing A. Selecting a compeer The Meranao wooing may set-on-foot either earlier to or following matrimony. Thither are proofs to relishness the creature of wooing earlier to matrimony. Thither are a estimate of predicaments in which the townsman does not see each other until their wedlock day consequently their precious of a severner is usually underneathtaken by parents, kin, or the fraternity. In some predicaments, goods may be eager as infants or promises may be made betwixt families touching goods quiet unborn. Even goods who are known to trust to their parents their craving to espouse, consequently of bisecticular beauty, is stuff to the firmness of the parents or akin. Arranged matrimony is inferive in Meranao fraternity consequently of nobility inferive and economic equabletors which are dedicated superexcellent consequence, that is, matrimony is seen as an service demonstrateing a connection betwixt two families. It is a security uniting two families in which the sharing of problems and wellbeing is the main significance. Thus goods to be “married off” are regularly told the servicetelling reasons for the connection such as: the other nobility can supply you wellbeing, or can adduce up; it has abundant members who aid one another, who do not tease their in-laws, who appertain to the imperial blood; the eagerional bisecticipators accomplish be a good-tempered-tempered succormate or a wife, legal one, and abundant others. These inferive and economic significances secondary the wild equabletors in matrimony, although the dying is not wholly ignored. The matrimonytelling goods bear themselves no abundantly precious in the matrimony. Meranao parents who “eparticipator off” their goods usually do not ask for their acclaim. The prospective bisecticipator is usually selected pristine from shapeless the barkred. If no referring-to qualifies the exploration movies on to the vicinity and if thither is no one thither either speeds on to other nation elsewhere. Meranao do not relish their goods to eparticipator non-Meranao women, but distinctly non-Meranao men. Deviats of this regularity bear been made almost outcasts of the fraternity. Sense of bark is very solid shapeless Meranao. Because of the completeance of arranged matrimony, objected wooing of the singular bride herself may speed or initiate following the wedlock solemnity. This is the boy’s toil, relapse his parents and in-laws acting as the consgrafting assembly for the spinster’s exculpation of the matrimony. The agency or proceeding is not demonstrateed, as it is naturalized on singular bisecticular force or resignation. B. Wooing earlier to matrimony Wooing earlier to matrimony is dedicated consequence in Meranao fraternity. It is very-much regulated, which serviceablely carry-abouts it a very pretty toil to manage. Thither are regularitys that must be followed. Violation of these regularitys adduces profanation in the fraternity. As already incontrovertible, wooing is either an singular or assembly strive. As an singular employment, it is expected of a man not of the woman and, transmittedly, the act is not chiefly directed at the dying herself. It is may be directed at her guardians, kin or any other guiding special who has the say in the persuade of her matrimony. If frequently it is directed at the spinster, her guiding kin must not be bygone or the boy accomplish as obstacles when his matrimony is projected. In the sylvan areas, it is usually produced at a nightly mark in the scion of the spinster, in a bunch, or in the employmenting establish. The boy must bebear in the most confirmtelling proceeding relapseout relishnessing any aggressiveness to the spinster. When he follows up in the scion, he is not amused by the spinster but any old folk in the scion, severicularly the spinster’s woman. He may be served cigarettes or a betel quid or, nowadays, a snack. This confront is usually characterized by a evince of skills in pananaroon or tobad-to-bad (soon speedly passion ditty in refined Meranao vernacular) by twain severies. In most instances, this tobad-to-tobad triggers the boy’s excitement to tender matrimony by requesting or confiding to his parents or to his suspend barkred environing his craving to be married off. It may to-boot intimidetermination him so that he accomplish sink from the scion distinctly if he finds the locality not fitting. In the elapsed away from the garrulous renditions, melodious instruments bear been occupied to carry the arrive-ating of the twain severies. In this predicament, the boy and the spinster enjoyed themselves but they were left unequtelling departed the vital-force was a assembly strive. The spinster had her company; so had the boy. Her parents would equtelling severicipate. The melodious instruments were either the insi (bamboo flute) or a three-string guitar designated kotiyapi or the melodious vital-force could bear been a kalilang (untrammelled of melodious instruments victorious of two big gongs, 7 inferior graduated gongs and a drum). A boy may to-boot objected his passion by sending a kirim (very-much speedly passion communication) to the spinster. This kirim, thus-far, is not kept trustntial. The spinster relishnesss it to her companions, to her woman or to other old folks, not singly consequently thither is loftiness in having current it but to-boot to ask opinions on how to manage it. Apolicy from nightly mark, a boy can to-boot strive in any alienate bunchs, as in a kanggawi or a vigil or in assembly games by boys and spinsters; or in a kalilang, whither boys and spinsters evidence their expertise (a completeance inhibited departed Martial Law). C. Manifesting the eager for matrimony When the parents relish to eparticipator off their son, they usually perceive-keep for a go-betwixt to do antecedent disaffirmation, designated the kapangakap o kapanokatokay (literally, “knowing”). This go-betwixt conferences separately to the parents of the spinster touching the eager. As go-between, he may be frankly told by the parents of the spinster not to chase the eager in some reasons, or he may be made to arrive-at their sincerity to the tender. Whatfrequently may be the remainder, the go-betwixt carrys it to the parents of the boy in euphemistic vernacular. If the remainder of his antecedent conference is denying, he does not knownly state the parents of the boy so, in regulate to abandon affliction. He finds other reasons to clear-up why their eager is not viable. But if the remainder has been a definitive, he states to chase their eager. Thus the direct instigate of the parents and kin of the boy, accompanied by the go-between, is to mark the spinster’s parents. In this mark, they may not declaration anything environing their eager, or shapelyly tender the matrimony of their son. This proceeding is designated kapangilaylay (citing). In aperture the tender, the spokesman of the boy’s parents, usually the go-between, states their eager by saying: “We follow hither consequently of our eager to let [mentioning the designate of the boy] speed relapse you, if you do not belief. ” Later, he states the betang they can supply. He does not say it explicitly in level vernacular but objectedes it as a lot (potluck) of the boy. The spinster’s parents or their figurative carry-abouts a exculpation, which is neither exculpation nor discountenance, but a deferment of their firmness on the stuff. The relapse may be days, weeks or months, depending upon the occasion they insufficiency to encounter their barkred who accomplish determine the stuff. But, precedently they carry-about the exculpation, they demand the kawasa tig or diyalaga. This is an equality ranging from P100 and up for the aperture of the argument for matrimony; some say it is a illustration of renown to the bangsa (descent) of the spinster. But objectedly, the equality is used to liquidetermination expenses incurred during the argument of the matrimony tender. D. Deliberation of the tender and the taalik Following the spinster’s policy has immovable on the betang, it carrys the firmness to boy’s policy, or twain severies follow on a set determination to shapelyly unprejudiced on the stuff. If they as on cetain determination to unprejudiced on it, twain severies adduce their maongangen (a special who has learning in common speaking). In this known asing, twain severies evince their speedly and lively skills. The spinster’s policy shapelyly states its exculpation to the tender. The boy’s policy may ask for reprobation in regulate to con-over some object in doubt, say the betang, or trade separately if thither has been no earlier tradeing made. Usually, thus-far, they early confirm the exculpation of the spinster’s severy. This ease underneathtaking in the known is made feasible consequently thither usually has been already a antecedent underneathreason chaffer and underneathtaking made relapse the go-betwixt precedently the shapely aperture of the common solemnity. Everybody recognizes that what is commsimply evinceed has been already away agreed upon. When twain severies bear agreed on the betang, the taalik is set. It is usually selected by the boy’s policy relapse the submit of the spinster’s kin. It is may be different days, months or years future, depending upon the capabilities of the boy to put up the demanded betang and/ or the manliness of prospective bride and groom in the predicament of goods matrimonys. When the taalik follows and the boy’s parents craving to instigate it for some reasons, they may ask for reprobation. They are known reprobation three occasions but for each one, they are required to put up sfrequently of the betang to carry-about unquestioning they do not end out of the underneathtaking.. The space-between precedently the taalik is occasion for twain severies to perceive-keep one another’s characters, and the boy and his parents’ convenience to argue their best to their prospective in-laws so that when the wedlock follows, they may be telling to induce the betang if they connot totally put it up. It is to-boot occasion for them to pool coincidently media to as the betang, that is, to infer the expected distribute of frequentlyy referring-to in the betang no stuff how weak the may be. If the boy’s policy fails to put up the betang on the developed determination, the matrimony tender is annulled, distinctly if the spinster’s parents do not supply it any further luck. If this falls all the expenditures of the boy’s policy are forfeited. On the other resultman, if the spinster’s policy rejects the tender precedently the taalik has came it shall return all the expenses of the boy and pay a keen imposed for the rupture of abbreviate, cosmical thither is a pressing enormity committed athwart the spinster of the nobility renown and truthfulness, such as unwritten censure, defame or some other abuse. The keen shall be immovable by the taritib and igma or by amictelling residuum by the go-betwixt through the kokoman a kambatabataa. E. The underneathtaking bound While indecision for the taalik to follow, abundant things are expected to fall. The barkred of the boy may complete the kapaniwaka or siwaka. This is a gift-giving of raw living by the parents of the boy to the parents of the spinster. In the elapsed, it is victorious chiefly of betel nut and leaves, lime, tobacco (or imbama) and other items in bundles or sacks. Kapaniwaka is believed to be determinant of standing of twain severies. It carries relapse it prestige: the superior the items dedicated, the preferable is the prestige of the supplyr and receiver. Kapaniwaka objectedly is a wooing agency intended to win the passion of the spinster and her kin. Away from the kapaniwaka, the boy may set-on-foot eating relapse spinster, a sumptuous act and standing designated kaatoang. The prospective bride and groom eat from a barefacedness tray (tabak); in the elegant area a ttelling is used. During pristine frugality coincidently, chaperons listen them. Following sometime, the two are left unequtelling at the frugality, but they are regularly underneathneath wake separately by the nation in the scion. This locality carry-abouts the boy extra cautious in his traffic relapse his wooer. Precedently the boy can eat relapse the spinster, thus-far, a leka sa dulang (literally, aperture of the living on the tray) is asked of him by the guardians of the spinster. This is an equality which varies from one establish to another and the nobility of the spinster. It ranges, thus-far, from P100 to a few thousands. In the elapsed the demand is isa tao (literally, one special) or one special which can be substituted in capital (paras). F. Grafting to siege hues and duties When the tender for matrimony is confirmed, hues and duties of twain severies defined by the romance siege goods. Neither of them can end out the underneathtaking, incorrectly a keen shall be imposed on the violator relapseout a real reason. The boy has the suitable to repose in the scion of the spinster and relishness his best proceeding to the spinster and her parents, not singly to win their passion (so that if thither is a shabby destruction in the betang he can trade for it), but to-boot as a bark of grafting for him be treated relapse equtelling over destruction than one’s own parents. During the boy’s pristine night in the scion, he is dedicated the best availtelling malong (round blanket relapse apertures at twain ends) as his reminiscence which he uses during the underneathtaking bound and keeps for himself. The gesture symbolizes renown and agreeable. The boy’s dispensation must be sought when the spinster goes out to wait-on some bunch or to some momentous trade. He is expected to listen her not singly to enunquestioning her insurance but to yield for her financial expenses, if any. If the spinster is wait-oning a inferive bunch relish kalilang, he must go relapse her, consequently if she plays the kolintang he is expected to listen her on the agong, incorrectly he accomplish be demeaned if some other boy plays the accompaniment. This completeance appears to bear died out departed the Martial Law bound. The spinster’s deficiency to strive the dispensation of the prospective wife can be a reason for nonobservance the tender, or else the parents of the spinster are keend a incontrovertible equality (sala) to be negotiated by the go-betwixt or to be immovable by the datu in the fraternity, in harmony relapse the taritib and igma. This completeance is not solidly adhered to in modern occasion distinctly in the City. The boy may aid this prospective parents-in-law in their employment. This is very-much recommended in regulate that he would induce-about their estimate and appreciation. He is to-boot expected to yield some help in the constitute of livingstuff, relish rice or coin. If the spinster smokes, he has to adduce her cigarettes.